I once knew this grumpy old fart
who was actually really quite smart –
he looked at his heels,
and stuck on some wheels:
shot to fame as the first human cart!

The prompt is my own, inspired by my current PhD chapter: take an non-English idiom, translate it literally, make a poem out of it. It was inevitably going to be nonsensical.
For the curious, the original Tuscan idiom is ‘se il mi’ nonno c’aveva le rote, l’era un carretto’ – literally ‘if my grandad had wheels, he’d’ve been a cart’. Similar in meaning to the English ‘If wishes were horses, beggars would ride’.