you tell me, you know
it’s a new city a new life
a new beginning
so if you want to try something new
i’d understand
if you happen to find someone cute
someone different 
i’d understand

what i don’t understand is 
every moment that i imagined
running my hands
on his torso and arms
fingertips reaching across hairs
stopping short of plucking
while i was holding her hand
fingers entwined with a teenage crush
that crushed early dreams of adulthood

and i don’t understand when
the first time i tasted her
i had no idea what i was doing
but i thought i almost touched his lips
his early stubble and unfortunately
smoke filled mouth taking me in
and closing when i try talking
about it to myself as i walk home later
and forget to call

and i don’t understand how
it actually took me this long
to realise what someone different
could be that someone different
could’ve been someone like him

what i do understand
is that when i run my hand
across your chest it is yours and no one else’s
when i hold your hand
it is our fingers touching
nerves sparking to our brains
in this casual pairing
that could only be intentional
how i think of you is a different
way an entirely new way
of looking at this new beginning